Updated: Feb 12, 2020
"In recovery our ideas of fun change. "
This is a short NA based reflection which I can most definitely relate too. My idea of fun, prior to recovery, was the same as many other youths. I liked to go out… but for me this consisted of heavy drinking along with drugs. I could see this wasn’t normal, but I choose to stay around the people who also did this, which made it seem accepted. I also thought I had to use these substances to enjoy little things like eating, movies, social gatherings, or to even enjoy being alone. I honestly thought I had fun during this time but for someone like me, I continued chasing until I found myself in complete isolation and my life was ran by these same drugs that I initially used to have “fun.” I came to find out that I used them to become someone I was not, to escape. Before I knew it, there was nothing fun about the lifestyle I fell into. You see a whole other world which consisted of violence, theft, and emotional destruction which I would have done anything to escape. However, this is the same thing which gave me the perspective to appreciate every day I have today.
So, when I started a track of recovery, I started to recreate new memories without substances. That is when I realized my idea of fun had most definitely changed. I stayed away from negative behaviors and even conversations glorifying active addiction. I started enjoying genuine conversations, which seemed to be enlightening and they reminded me of times when I was a kid. I also started embracing physical activity which was not a part of a life lead by addiction at all. I enjoyed good meals, uncontrollable laughs, walks in the park, playing with my dog, and getting dressed up for events. This is starting to sound like a dating bio or something lol but these are the simple things I look forward too. I no longer surround myself with chaos and there is no better feeling then waking up with a clear conscious. That is a beautiful thing to have in the world we live in today. However, if I had to state the most beautiful part of my “fun” today, it would be that I am actually present in all these moments and I remember every bit of them.
Give me an example of how your idea of fun might have changed over time?