For me, I would view inner peace as peace within your heart. At one time in my life I could create an outward display of peace but I got really good at hiding my internal emotions. This seemed to change since I found that my emotional peace has been achieved through spirituality. Which is having values concerning my spirit instead of worldly things with trust in something bigger than me. A sense of inner peace, did not mean a perfect life or to avoid all stressors. I view it as the ability to remain at peace while facing turmoil. At one time in my life I felt like this was not possible. I was never able to face life’s struggles successfully and it eventually caused me to freeze which started accumulating all of my self-doubt. Everyone has their own path but I found mine along my journey in recovery.
One day, I came to the realization that I have tried to reach a peace of mind my whole life. However, I always did this by myself or strictly from human aid. This would temporarily work but inner peace for me would also be a lasting peace. So, I came to the realization that I needed to let go of MY ideology. This was largely effected by my pride which always told me I would get through this on my own or to keep my struggles to myself. So I let go and I stayed open minded to suggestions from those I have witnessed revival in. These individuals seemed to have reached a level of peace even through hard times. However, the action still had to come. After I realized that peace was seemingly impossible on my own and that I must be blocked, I started to seek a power greater than me. That little bit of open mindedness led me to prayer where I received a taste of it through confirmations.
In time, I realized that things were working out as a part of a much bigger plan. There was a phrase that I used to say,” I can’t, God can, maybe I’ll just let go and let God.” This gave me enough courage to face all my resentments and fears from the past. I let them out to someone and then I reflected with God for over an hour. This truly gave me a sense of freedom as I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I still follow a similar routine for current struggles to maintain peace. I pray for many things but especially when I feel anger, fear, or even selfishness. Then, I talk to someone about it and If anyone was harmed from actions, I make amends as quick as possible. In order to get out of self I proceed to turn my thoughts to others. This has brought me to a point where selfishness has begun to slip away. Through that simple process I am now more capable of pausing before I react. I have also been able to emotionally detach from things that were holding me back. I had so many emotional strongholds but for once I started to realize the effect it was having on me and I took time to strictly focus on myself. These practices have brought about a new found self-discipline in where I can concentrate on my thoughts and actions to sustain an inner peace.
While I continue to gain a better understanding, I still encounter stressful thinking. Those thoughts never go away, but I am able to ground in myself with trust in God. I trust that everything is going to work out or that there is a bigger plan beyond what I am going through. I also try to view my current struggles as a test of faith which will only help me to grow stronger for the next challenge. This is a complete change from where I once was and it drives me to keep seeking so that I don't fall back to old ways. Overall, this has changed my perspective, which in turn has given me my own sense of “Inner Peace.”